. . . and "Welcome to the White House", Simon and Schuster presents their next literary masterpiece. Bill Clinton, call your office...

If drinking, driving and college admissions aren't enough for the parents of teenagers to worry about, there's a new specter on the horizon: "rainbow parties."

As explained in a new paperback novel for teenagers from Simon & Schuster, rainbow parties are group oral sex parties in which each girl wears a different shade of lipstick, and each guy tries to emerge sporting every one of the various colors.

This is a play on a really old joke that I first heard when I was a teenager. It went something like, "Would you please tell your girlfriend/wife/sister/mother to quit changing her lipstick?"