Somebody named Sheryl Crow solves global warming. I wonder who would police this:

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting," she explained.

"I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."

Other plans she has included not using paper napkins.

"I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a 'dining sleeve.' The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another 'dining sleeve,' after usage," she explained in the increasingly bizarre posting.

"The design will offer the 'diner' the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product... I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold."