Another Hollyweird self-aggrandizement awards ceremony is almost upon us. The Golden Globes (a/k/a Oscar jr.) will be on NBC in a few hours, and I cannot help but wonder what anti-capitalist, anti-Bush, anti-American tripe they will be shoveling tonight. No matter what the "liberal elite" have to say, remember that you cannot criticize them. That would have a "chilling effect" on their freedom of speech, which we all know was intended by James Madison to be the right to make a complete ass of yourself without facing any consequences what-so-ever.

In observance of tonight's festivities, I want to point out something I said back in October of 2002.

My overall thoughts are that celebrities need to know when to keep their fucking mouths shut. Many celebrities never even finished high school, and their greatest achievement is looking pretty, or learning to read a cue card. Sure, you may have a good set of lungs, but your fame and fortune don't lend credence to the garbage you spew. In fact, I think just the opposite. Your incoherent ramblings and off-stage antics actually detract from any acting/singing/looking-pretty ability that you may possess.

Now shut the hell up and dance for me, you trained monkey.

As if you had any doubts about Hollywood intellect, Lay Lines and King of Fools, offer us some evidence.

Okay, so perhaps I went a little overboard with the graphics...