I have spent most of the day frantically trying to get a hold of Washington Redskins' owner Daniel Snyder. I met him once a few years ago, but I doubt he remembers me. Still, upon hearing that he would soon be looking for a new head coach, I figured I had to give it a try. My father has been watching the Redskins now for about 20 years. He's seen the best and worst of them all, and from his easy chair in Virginia has had all the answers to the Redskins' coaching needs. Dad would yell at the screen, "You aren't gonna go for it, you dumb son of a bitch!" He was almost always invariably right, and he would just seems to know when the 'Skins were going to foul it up.

Since Dad retired from his 9-to-5 job this past October, I figure he is going to have lots of free time. I would like to finally see him put his vast football knowledge to good use and become the head coach of the Redskins. While he doesn't have any professional or collegiate football experience, he has spent Sunday after Sunday hooting, hollering, shouting, and cussing at the players. Besides, that seems to be all that matters to Snyder, who has had 4 different coaches in 5 years.

Indeed, Dad's chances to turn the team around are slim, and the $5 Million salary might end up exempting him from his monthly social security checks. Still, I think he'd be the best man for the job. Hell, he certainly couldn't do much worse.