It's time for the Friday Five.

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
"Masturbates with Wolves"

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
"Pop goes the world" - Men Without Hats
"Cruel Summer" - Bananarama

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
It would be the cheesiest low-budget piece of trash anyone has ever seen. Live action or animated? Does it really matter?

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
It would be one of those fucking annoying Martin Short movies where he plays every role.

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
The trailer would make you run screaming from the theater, and the movie would replace Woody Allen films as a third world torture device. It would lower the bar for bad movies everywhere.