After launching "safe injection sites", where intravenous drug users will be able to shoot up in safety, Canada has announced that they will also offer "safe prostitution zones" where hookers can safely practice their craft. Since prostitution money is typically used to purchase drugs, it only makes sense to locate the zones very close to each other.

The government will provide free condoms and the back seat of a '77 Camaro where hookers will be able to freely conduct "business". They will be immune from prosecution, as long as they stay in the car. Canadian officials claim that the program will cut down on sexually transmitted diseases, as well as drum up demand for their new "safe injection sites".

White House drug czar John Walters offered up heavy criticism of Canada's plan, and claimed that "drug abuse is a deadly disease."

Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien quipped, "I don't know what he's so upset about, eh. One of my staffers came up with the idea while he was at a rock concert down in Detroit."