Variety editor Peter Bart apparently is no fan of the movie 'Jackass', or Johnny Knoxville. But worst movie ever?

Now, lists of 'Best this' and 'Worst that' are notoriously controversial. Some movies just don't compare evenly, and you inevitably leave something out, or rank them in the wrong order.

Disclaimers aside, here is my list for the "Top Worst Movies I've Ever Seen." Since sequels are never as good as the original, they have been left off the list. Besides, anyone can simply list Police Academy 2 through 10. These are all original stinkers (or possibly re-makes), and are presented in no particular order.

• Baby Geniuses - How could you go wrong with wise-cracking super human babies. This is how. (update: not to be out done, they are making a sequel)


• The French Connection - Other than a decent car chase, this movie stinks up the screen. The fact that it beat out A Clockwork Orange and Fiddler on the Roof for 1972 Best Picture nods, is proof that even Oscar voters smoke crack.


• Dances with Wolves - Kevin Costner's 1990 pet project should have been called, "Masturbates with Wolves." How else should you describe three hours of Costner frolicking in the grassy plains with an under fed malamute. What is even harder to believe is that the original cut was over four hours.


• Eyes Wide Shut - Only in Hollywood can you have an excellent director like Stanley Kubrick direct Tom Cruise's home made porn movies at a cost of $65 Million. How could the man that made Spartacus, Lolita, Dr. Strangelove, 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, and Full Metal Jacket bring us this pile of crap? I only wish I had watched it at home rather than in the theater, so I could have fast-forwarded through to the Nicole Kidman nudie parts.


• Face/Off - I could probably make an entire list out of John Travolta and Nicolas Cage movies. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but cutting off a persons face and sewing it back on in a half hour with no visible scars is over the top. They should have literally cut each others heads off at the beginning of the movie and saved us all from shit like Battlefield Earth, Swordfish, and 8MM


• Moulin Rouge! - Even! a! Nicole! Kidman! bukake! scene! couldn't! have! saved! this! musical! stinker!


• Pearl Harbor and Titanic - There is no worse feeling than going to see a war movie or a good ship wreck and ending up watching a three hour love story. I'll take Tora! Tora! Tora! and the Poseidon Adventure over these two any day.


• Waterworld - Yet another Costner flop. It should have been titled "How to ruin your acting career with $250 Million." I just don't understand how a movie on a boat in the middle of the ocean can cost so much.


• Iron Eagle - Pretty much anything with Jason Gedrick sucks, never mind a film where he steals an Air Force F-16 and single-handedly fights a middle eastern war. Perhaps if our Air Force pilots had a good sound track, they'd have gone in and gotten Saddam Hussein by now.


• Robin Hood - I'm trying very hard to not dominate the list with Kevin Costner flops, but this one had to be included as well. A great supporting cast and decent story weren't enough to overcome Costner's bad acting and unbelievable English accent. If you pay attention, you can see the point in the movie where Kevin finally gives up and stops trying to sound British.


• The Chase - Like other viewers, I got half way through this made for USA Network movie before I realized Charlie Sheen hadn't actually pulled an OJ. This movie reminds me of when the Simpsons visited a Hollywood lot. Marge Simpson: "Look! There's Robert Downey Jr. in a shoot-out with the police." Bart: "That's funny, I don't see any cameras."


• In the Army Now - This is one of many reasons Pauly Shore won the Razzie for "Worst new star of the decade." Other reasons include Encino Man and Son in Law. The thought of Pauly making it through basic training without being shot by his own troops makes this completely unbelievable.


• Space Cowboys - Thanks to John Glenn for inspiring a story about a bunch of washed-up has-beens going into space to save the planet from our old cold war nemesis.


• Big Jim McLain - Proof that even the Duke isn't immune to stinkers. This John Wayne 'classic' was nothing but red scare propaganda at it's worst. If the movie didn't come of with such a serious tone, it could have been a great comedy, illustrating just how ludicrous the 'House Un-American Activities Committee' really was.


• Point Break - Surfing almost never makes for good movies. Combine it with Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, and a bank robbery, and you end up with a 120 minute train wreck. Arguably, the only good thing to come out of Swayze was Red Dawn, and the Matrix was good in spite of Reeves, not because of him.


• Ghost - Speaking of Patrick Swayze, if I see this horrible love fest one more time, I'm gonna puke. Call me old fashioned, but saying "ditto" is not the least bit romantic, and the Whoopie Goldberg/Demi Moore make-out scene gave me nightmares for 6 months.


• Above the Law - The first of many Steven Seagal wanna-be action flicks. How this middle-aged, flabby, Jean Claude imitator passed for a movie star, we may never know.

I'm sure there are quite a few I left off the list, but this is a good start. Also, I don't want to hear from wussys that loved Titanic, Pearl Harbor, and Moulin Rouge. Anyone can be cliche and say they liked those piles of crap. Instead be a real man and stand up in defense of Kevin Costner, or admit you are actually a closet Pauly Shore freak.

UPDATE: I added in a few flicks I obviously missed. How Keanu Reeves and Steven Seagal escaped me, I'll never know. It looks like Michele has the makings of a good list going herself, so I won't touch her suggestions. Besides, I refused to watch Little Nicky, and I have hardly heard of the others.