I saw my friend Ken at his sister's wedding in June, and something he said really stuck with me. He told me that by cutting out his daily drinking habit, he had lost at least 20 pounds. I started to calculate just how many calories a day I was drinking, and it wasn't very pretty. I hadn't been gaining weight, but I wasn't losing any either, despite regular exercise. When I ran out of beer two weeks ago, I decided not to buy any more, and give Ken's "diet" a try.

So far, the results have been very predictable. I don't think I've lost a single pound. I haven't had beer in the house now for over two weeks, I've only drank two days in the past 14, and everything seemed to be going well. I still get the shakes every now and then, but they go away after I bang my head against the refrigerator door a couple of times. I still get my regular couch to fridge exercise, but instead of grabbing a brewski, I just open the door and cry for a few minutes. I don't keep any actual food in the fridge, aside from some three day old pizza and a carton of eggs that I'm afraid to open, so snacking isn't a problem. The only thing in there now is a case of bottled water and some diet coke. I've cut down on eating out when about two weeks ago, I realized that everyone I had met since moving up here was a bartender. That pretty much only leaves take-out, which is almost as much of a chore as cooking is. Not having a decent supply of restaurants doesn't help either. Basically, having to eat every day sucks. Perhaps I'll try anorexia.