Category Archives: Global Warming (66)

Global Warming Causes Volcanoes Now

Somewhere some academics are trying to prove that Global Warming causes everything. The latest addition to the list is volcanoes. Apparently all that melting ice and glaciers is going to cause volcanoes to erupt more frequently and violently.

…a planet running a fever is just like a person running a fever…

So what is the planet’s “normal” temperature again?

“As the glaciers melt, the pressure on the underlying rocks decreases,” Compton said in an e-mail to TIME. “Rocks at very high temperatures may stay in their solid phase if the pressure is high enough. As you reduce the pressure, you effectively lower the melting temperature.” The result is a softer, more molten subsurface, which increases the amount of eruptive material lying around and makes it easier for more deeply buried magma chambers to escape their confinement and blow the whole mess through the surface.

Apparently man is so all powerful that we can control weather, steer hurricanes, and now even cause volcanoes to errupt.

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Global Warming Causes Avalanches

In the quest to find something (anything) that global warming doesn’t cause, we can now cross avalanches off the list. Apparently snow, ice, and glaciers are melting at such an alarming rate that Mount Everest will soon become a tropical oasis in the Himalayas.

Scientists have claimed that climbing Mount Everest is becoming less predictable and possibly more dangerous, as climate change brings warmer temperatures that may eat through the ice and snow on the highest peak in the world.

Then again, maybe it won’t.

While it is impossible to link any single event to long-term changes in the global climate, scientists say the future will likely hold more such dangers in high-altitude regions, Fox News reported.

So before long, climbing Mount Everest will no longer be the safe and leisurly activity that it is today.

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Global Warming Causes Tornados

What’s an alarmist to do when statistics don’t show a correlation between Global Warming and the strength of tornadoes? Just go invent a new statistic that does!

See, meteorologists use the Enhanced Fujita Scale, which looks at damage to buildings and vegetation to rank a storm from EF0 to EF5. But that’s subjective, and it doesn’t work well in areas with few structures or trees. And you can’t look inside the categories to see if one EF5 storm is stronger than another.

Damn that Fujita!

A tornado-power equation that actually gauges a twister’s kinetic energy would be more useful to scientists who are also examining the effects of climate change, so that’s what Elsner built. He looked at the length and width of a storm’s damage path, correlated that to the amount of damage, and then used the result to estimate wind 1.0 speed. A little more crunching and bam!—integrated kinetic energy of a storm.

So the Fujita scale measures ground damage, but that’s subjective. But if you use this new fangle system that measure damage on the ground and that’s evidence that global warming causes everything.

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Useful Idiots

Environmentalist wackos are upset because the Gulf Oil Spill is diverting attention away from Global Warming. Christopher Reddy even asks: “What if carbon dioxide were as black as oil?

But while we have readily and rightfully committed ourselves to understanding the cause of the spill, its effects and how to help restore the affected Gulf Coast region, we still can’t seem to come to grips with a much more dangerous, far-reaching pollutant that is changing the fundamental chemistry of our entire planet: carbon dioxide.

You would have to be a complete moron to think that carbon dioxide is a pollutant and is “changing the fundamental chemistry of our entire planet.”

CO2 is necessary for life, and without it we would all die. It is what plants breathe, what we exhale, and is fundamental for the world’s ecosystem. If we eliminated or even severely reduced CO2 on earth, we wouldn’t last 6 months. Plants would die, animals that eat plants would die, and we would die.

We learned that in elementary school, but Reddy must have had the chicken pox that day.

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Kerry: Recession good for global warming

“Let me emphasize something very strongly as we begin this discussion. The United States has already this year alone achieved a 6 percent reduction in emissions simply because of the downturn in the economy, so we are effectively saying we need to go another 14 percent.” — Sen. John Kerry D-Mass., promoting the Cap’n Tax bill.

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Obama Stimulates Auto Industry

iconSnubbing the auto industry and instead choosing to pimp environmentalism, Obama recycled a tired old cannard from the Sierra Club: that modern day cars are no better than the venerable old Model T.

Obama parrots:

“The 1908 Model T — think about this — the 1908 Model T earned better gas mileage than the typical SUV in 2008. Think about that — a hundred years later and we’re getting less gas mileage, not better, on SUVs. Even as our economy has been transformed by new forms of technology, our electric grid looks largely the same as it did half a century ago.”

Of course, we debunked this argument way back in 2003.

Of course, there are also staggering differences between vehicles made in the early 1900s and the early 2000s so any one on one comparison would be extremely flawed.

For instance, a 1908 Model T weighed a mere 1200 pounds. Compare this to the 1993 Ford Festiva, that I used to own. It weighed 1700 pounds and got 44 miles to the gallon. The Model T boasted a 4 cylinder engine that made a whopping 20 horsepower. Most modern small cars get over 100 horsepower. The Model T also burned oil for the headlights and various other lamps that adorned the vehicle. It wasn’t exactly eco-friendly. Compare this to the 2003 Ford Focus. The Focus weighs over 2600 lbs, and it’s 4 cylinder engine makes 110 horsepower and gets 27 to 36 miles to the gallon. Of course, they also don’t bother to take into account that today’s vehicles are subjected to countless government mandated safety standards.

Modern cars are larger, faster, safer, and more powerful. They hold more people, more stuff, and only emit a fraction of the pollutants compared to that of older cars. Pound for pound, we are all much better off. Who cares if they burn a few more gallons of fuel.

The 2008 Ford Focus SES weighs in at 2588 lbs, makes 140 horsepower from its I-4 engine, and 24 to 35 miles per gallon. It also gets to 60 in less than 10 seconds. Lets see a Model T do that!

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Blizzard puts Global Warming Scientists on Ice

Three skiers, trying to prove global warming is melting arctic sea ice, decided to ski to the North Pole.

Three British explorers have set out on a 90-day skiing expedition to the North Pole, measuring sea ice thickness the whole way to find out exactly how fast it is disappearing, according to the Catlin Arctic Survey.

The data gathered will complement satellite and submarine observations and help ice modelling of the polar ice by experts, including Wieslaw Maslowski, who recently predicted the Arctic Ocean could be ice free as early as 2013, the London-based survey said in a statement.

Global warming is believed to be the main culprit in the rapidly melting north polar ice cap that is freeing up new sea routes and untapped mineral resources on the ocean bottom.

That was on March 1st. It seems, however, that Mother Nature can be a real bitch sometimes. In stunning irony, the team has been trapped by a blizzard.

Project director and ice team leader Pen Hadow and his colleagues Martin Hartley and Ann Daniels are now down to half rations and fighting to survive in brutal sub-zero weather conditions.

“We’re hungry, the cold is relentless, our sleeping bags are full of ice and, because we’re not moving, the colder we get,” Hadow said Tuesday in a statement from the London headquarters of the Catlin Arctic Survey.

[…]

During the past 17 days temperatures have consistently dropped below minus 40 degrees Celsius [in real degrees (F) that’s also minus 40], and have been accompanied by strong winds increasing the chill factor.

Bad weather has forced three attempts to drop food supplies to the team on a landing strip close to their camp to turn back.

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Shameless

CNN offers more proof that Global Warming causes everything…

CNN_global_warming_children.jpg

“Climate Change Makes Island Kids Bony, Stunted” — CNN Headline, July 7, 2008

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Finding the green in green

When I was in high school some friends turned me on to what would become one of my favorite bands. They were an obscure group that had a small niche following. I loved their music and they were one of the few bands that I could listen to every song on their albums. Then something happened.

They had a hit single. Next thing I knew they were on the radio, had a video on MTV, and everyone was buying their new album. It bugged me. I liked them when they were nothing. Now everyone and their brother is a fan. It became cliche to like them. I had been a loyal fan for years, but now I felt like just another rider on the bandwagon. The fame was too much too soon and the band quickly broke up. They had been killed by their own bandwagon.

I think this is what’s happening to the environmental movement. It’s become cliche. It used to be a small group of treehuggers and maggot infested hippies. But now there’s a huge bandwagon and big corporations are looking to fleece the riders. The news is filled with story after story about gas prices, global warming, and green marketing. How long the green movement will last is anybody’s guess. But the hotter it burns, the quicker it will burn out. I can hardly wait.

(Burn baby burn.. Muahahaha.)

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We’re not yet doomed

Apparently a natural cooling trend means that Global Warming is going to take a 10-year break.

The press release says that with this additional information, natural decadal climate variations, which are superimposed on the long-term anthropogenic warming trend, can be predicted. The improved predictions suggest that global warming will weaken slightly during the next decade.

So when there’s a cooling trend, it’s considered a natural climate variation, but the warming trends are definitely man-made.

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