Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Refrigerator - Looked like it was about 18 cu. ft. Not sure if there was food in it or not.

Statistics
Commute: Zoom, zoom, zoom!
Door to door: 18 minutes

Today's road hazard was:

• A State Trooper - Maybe he was sleeping, maybe he was looking for speeders, but he was causing a 2 mile backup as everyone passed him at 25 miles per hour [in a 55].

Statistics
Commute: Congested.
Door to door: 23 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• A Fan - It had oscillated it's last breath.

Statistics
Commute: Foggy.
Door to door: 17 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Ironing Board - Some woman must have dropped it.

Statistics
Commute: Fast and wet.
Door to door: 20 minutes

Today's road hazard was:

• Woman applying make-up

If you're going to drive in the left lane of the Capitol Beltway, perhaps applying make-up shouldn't be your highest priority task. Yes I'm talking to you, lady in the Blue Honda. You have the honor of being the first Road Hazard of the Day award handed out to an animate object (and I use the term animate, very loosely).

Statistics
Commute: Lead, follow, or get out of the way!
Door to door: 19 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Orange construction cone - It must be the one that got away.

Statistics
Commute: It's the pedal on the right!
Door to door: 28 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Life Vest - And I thought carrying road flares was overkill.

Statistics
Commute: I wish it was Sunday, 'Cause that's my funday, My I don't have to runday...
Door to door: 25 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Caution Tape - The yellow kind, that says "police line".

I guess there was nobody around to write them a ticket for littering.

Statistics
Commute: I could have turned the engine off and just pushed the car to save gas.
Door to door: 37 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Pepsi bottle - And that's not Pepsi it's filled with.

You know, if I was going to risk a $1000 fine by littering I wouldn't leave a quart of my DNA behind.

Statistics
Commute: If you lived at work, you'd be home now.
Door to door: 21 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Pole - 4ft - steel - bent - If it weren't bent, it'd make a nice mock lightsaber.

Statistics
Commute: Happiness is no red lights
Door to door: 18 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Exit 54 - You've got to hit the guardrail pretty damn hard to send an exit sign flying 50 feet.

Statistics
Commute: Where you are going is more important than how fast you are going
Door to door: 21 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Wood - Two by fours; one by sixes; lots and lots of wood, and in the traffic lanes too.

Statistics
Commute: "Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time." -- Erma Bombeck
Door to door: 23 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Fiberglass Insulation - (Or if you're British, fibreglass).

Statistics
Commute: "Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" -- Robin Williams
Door to door: 19 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Cone Cups - Dozens of those cone shaped paper cups that you normally see by the water cooler.

Statistics
Commute: Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs. I told you I'd outrun 'em.
Door to door: 16 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Mystery Bag - Could be garbage, could be gold. Lets start the bidding at $5.

Statistics
Commute: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
Door to door: 24 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Plywood - It'll make some bum a nice roof.

Statistics
Commute: She'll make .5 past light speed.
Door to door: 27 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Bags o' Grass (not weed) - Maybe they finally mowed that sod that fell off a truck last week.

Statistics
Commute: She'll do the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.
Door to door: 20 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Sporks - Hundreds, perhaps thousands of white plastic sporks.

Statistics
Commute: Flying through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy!
Door to door: 20 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Hub Caps - Extraordinary, only because it was two hub caps right next to each other, and they were from different cars. I wonder what they were fighting about?
• Mop - The blue ragmop kind.
• Plastic tubing - Looked like a hose at first, all coiled up. But really it was 2" gray plastic tubing. I got a pretty good look at it cruising by at a whopping 5 miles per hour.

Statistics
Commute: Ain't nothin' but a thang
Door to door: 22 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Jeep Hard Top

Anyone missing one? Well, half of one?

Statistics
Commute: At least it's Friday
Door to door: 27 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Hard Hat

In the immortal words of Cletus: "I caught a head! Aw dang, it's been scooped out!"

Statistics
Commute: Road Warrior
Door to door: 18 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• 5 Gallon Bucket

One of those white ones, that hopefully isn't filled with paint or some type of industrial solvent.

Statistics
Commute: Congested
Door to door: 30 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Ladder

The fiberglass kind, and awfully destroyed. Whoever hit it did a number on it.

Statistics
Commute: Zoom, Zoom, Zoom
Door to door: 18 minutes

Todd scolded me for dropping the ball on this one. Well, better late than never.

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Drywall

Coulda been sheetrock, I don't know. I'm not a builder.

Statistics
Commute: Everyone must be hungover from Cinco de Mayo
Door to door: 20 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Sod - As in grass.

They weren't trying to plant it there, it just fell off a truck.

Statistics
Commute: Brisk
Door to door: 25 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Mattress - Twin size

It was a soft mattress (not a box spring) and would probably mess your shorts more than your car.

Statistics
Commute: No Worries
Door to door: 28 minutes

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Broom - A big push broom, with it's handle intact.
• Shovel - Not the digging kind, the shoveling shit kind. The big flat kind that would go perfect with a push broom.

The two were only about 500 feet apart, so they probably fell off the same truck. If either of these smacked your car, you'd be looking at some serious body work.

Statistics
Commute: Clear sailing
Door to door: 23 minutes