Not surprising

You are 0% hippie.

Ok, you conservative soul. Do you even believe in global warming? Loosen that necktie a little, and try some organic food. It actually does taste better. And go to a farmer's market--they're fun.

Are you a hippie?

For the record, I don't believe in man-made global warming, will sometimes shop at farmers markets, and always prefer natural ingredients to processed. But the term "organic" is just a marketing ploy to rip off hippies.

Things Done & Not Done

Yet another one from Countertop.

highlight those you've done... or just make them bold

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath

08. Said I love you and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game - AFC Championship Game, countless college games

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa - Back when I did it, they didn't have hand-rails.

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby's diaper - And I never will...

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon - Planning it, but hadda cancel. Will probably reschedule it for sometime soon.

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse - Bet on a lot of losers before I hit that winner though.

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb - Do lamb chops count?

33. Seen a total eclipse

34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Had two hard drives for your computer - Hell, I've had like 10 hard drives for a computer. My laptop has two 160 gb drives.

40. Visited all 50 states

41. Taken care of someone who was too drunk - This is one of my drunk stories of the day.

42. Had amazing friends - What do you mean by "had"?

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

44. Watched wild whales

45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe

47. Taken a road-trip - Taken several spur of the moment trips. Once wore the same clothes for 5 days because I didn't go home to pack first.

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland - Both the "Republic" and "Northern"

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them - Ever been to a European pub? That's how it works over there.

54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow

56. Alphabetized your CDs.

57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Sung karaoke

59. Lounged around in bed all day - Its called the weekend.

60. Posed nude in front of strangers

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain

63. Played in the mud

64. Played in the rain

65. Gone to a drive-in theater - Saw Star Wars there.

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites - Pompeii, Rome, Naples.. etc.

70. Taken a martial arts class - Chuck Norris Karate Studios

71. Played a Computer game for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie

74. Crashed a party - Once crashed a birthday party.. yet another drunk story of the day.

75. Gotten divorced

The 40

I just realized I've only posted once for the entire month of May, so for lack of anything better I ripped this meme off from Countertop. If the lack of posts doesn't drive my last 4 readers away, this should:

1. What is your occupation?
Program manager and consultant, so basically I don't do anything.

2. What color are your socks right now?

3. What are you listening to right now?
The voices in my head.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Lobster stuffed with crab. Life is good.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes. My parents said I had to learn to drive a "stick" before I could drive an automatic.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My friend Jenn wanted me to come out for drinks. Because I'm an old fart, I declined.

7. Do you like the person who tagged you?
Tagged? Don't they do that to cows?

8. How old are you today?
A pessimist would say my life is half over.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch?
College Football.

10. What is your favorite drink?
Mmm.... Beer.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
No way. I've been told my salt-n-pepper looks distinguished.

12. Last time you hugged your child?
I don't have any children that I know of.

13. Favorite food?
Soft-shell Crab, blue crabs, oysters on the half shell, and clams.

14. What was the last movie you watched?
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

15. Favorite day of the year?
My birthday.

16. How do you vent anger?
I beat my wife on the courthouse steps. Okay, I'm just kidding. I'm not married.

17. What was your favorite toy as a child?
I've always liked to build things, so I'd have to say legos. When I'm done with this list, I'm going to build a life.

18. What is your favorite season?
I love late fall. There's nothing like really crisp and cold "football" weather.

19. Ocean or pool?

20. Cherries or Blueberries?

21. Do you want your family & friends to participate?
Only if they want to.

22. Who is the most likely to respond?

24. Living arrangements?
Single. Live alone. One pet, named Roomba. He gets into fights with one of my area rugs.

25. When was the last time you cried?
Can't remember, but it was probably right before sex. Sex, for me, always requires a lot of crying and begging, usually followed by a lot of apologizing.

26. What is on the floor of your closet?
Ammo. Lots and lots of ammo.

27. Who is the family or friend you have known the longest that you are tagging?
I'm not tagging anyone, but I've known my mom the longest. If that woman is, in fact, my real mom. I can only take her word for it.

28. What did you do last night?
I sat out by the water with some friends, swinging in a glider built for 6, eating seafood and sharing stories. Life is good.

29. Hawaii or Florida?
Florida. I hope to someday migrate there and die.

30. What inspires you?
Memories of my father.

31. What are you most afraid of?
Never finding love, and spending the rest of my life alone.

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes, big Kosher pickle and a cold draft beer...

33. Favorite dog breed?
It's a tie between Jack Russell and Yorkie-Poo. They both taste delicious.

34. Favorite day of the week?

35 How many states have you lived in?
Not counting confusion, 3.

1) Georgia
2) Ohio
3) Virginia
I also lived in Italy for several years.

36 Do you like these questionnaires?
Not really. After 35 questions they get really boring.

37. What kind of car did your very first date drive?
Beats me, being a man I picked her up and I drove. We only went out 3 times, but I drove each time. If I remember right, she was 15 and I don't think she had a car.

38. What is the last book you read?
Whale Done. It's about the power of positive reinforcement.

39. What are your hobbies?
Shooting guns, biking, tinkering with technology.

40. Can you still make the Hula Hoop stay around your waist?
Yes. I am the 4 time state hula hoop champion, and spent 4 years on the national hula hoop circuit. I hoped to one day make it to the Olympics, but due to a restraining order I am no longer allowed to petition the IOC to officially recognize hula hooping as a sport.

How many 5 year olds could you beat up?


Thats 3 more than Uncle

BTW, I don't recommend you use their code to put this on your site, because it sends you to some dating site instead.

What's your Traveler IQ?

I've always been pretty good at Geography, but I'm stuck on Level 6 of this game. On my third try I fell 165 points short of Level 7 and gave up.

My Traveler IQ was 94, though... not too shabby.

How will you die?

Anyone who has ever seen me drive would agree...

You'll die in a Car Accident.

You are very sociable, talking on your cell when you should be paying attention to the road. Sadly, cell phones will claim yet another life...

'How will you die?' at

What American accent do you have?

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The South
The Inland North
The Northeast
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Which Red Dawn Character Are You?


Robert Morris...-The Executioner-...You are loyal and brave (to a fault) but you are also a psychotic killing-machine. Seek professional help NOW! ;-)

Which Red Dawn Character Are You?

And my high school guidance counselor said I'd never amount to anything...

(Via Countertop)

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Super Genius

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

(Via Countertop)

UPDATE: Spoiler Alert: The answers are posted in the comments.

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Which soldier type are you?


You scored as Officer.

Officer, your the brass. The leader of the bunch. You have leadership qualities, or you have a really big ego. Most likely both. You know how to get things done, and don't care who you have to kill to get them done. Your a man with a mission and to stand in your way means pain. You have gumption and intelligence to back it up. Hold the line!!! AND SOMEONE GET ME COFFEE!!!

Which soldier type are you?

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Well, I do like chicken, and I *am* great

Via Compass Points:

What Muppet Are You?
You are Gonzo the Great.

You love everyone, and still you get shot
out of a cannon on a regular basis. Oh,
and you are completely insane and have a
strange fascination for chickens.

The Great Gonzo, Gonzo the Great, Just Plain Weird


Tapdancing blindfolded on tapioca while balancing a
piano on his nose, backwards, five times fast.

"From Here to Eternity...with no brakes."

"Touched By An Anvil"

"No parachute? Wow! This is so cool!"

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What political persuasion are you?

Big surprise here:

You Are a "Don't Tread On Me" Libertarian


You distrust the government, are fiercely independent, and don't belong in either party.

Religion and politics should never mix, in your opinion... and you feel opressed by both.

You don't want the government to cramp your self made style. Or anyone else's for that matter.

You're proud to say that you're pro-choice on absolutely everything!

What political persuasion are you?

Geez, they make me sound anti-religious, which isn't true at all. I don't really care where you post the Ten Commandments, just so long as you don't arrest me for coveting my neighbor's ass.

(Hat tip to Dizzy Girl, who is also sporting a pretty sexy photo of Ashley Judd.)

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Kneel before the Supreme Nerd God

How nerdy are you?

I am nerdier than 95% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

5% scored higher (more nerdy), and
95% scored lower (less nerdy).

All hail the monstrous nerd. You are by far the SUPREME NERD GOD!!!

Via Countertop.

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I'm an English Genius

iconI didn't do quite as well as Kevin, but then he probably hadn't been drinking when he took the test.

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 83% Expert!

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Who the hell do you think you are?

iconThis meme courtesy of Countertop.


1. Who the hell do you think you are?
- Ravenwood. It says it at the top of the page. Pay attention!

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
- No, I'm a manager at a firm working on a Top Secret government contract. I could tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
- I used to write for my high school paper. Does that count?

4. Do you even read newspapers?
- I'd rather have carpal tunnel syndrome than inky hands so I stick to reading about a dozen newspapers on the web.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
- Actually, I rarely watch the news at all.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
- One hour per day, during lunch.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
- Unfortunately the terms of the restraining order mean I'm no longer allowed to have contact with any political parties.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
- My favorite hobby is pointing out stupidity, so I don't want to silence anyone. But they usually shut up after a good fisking.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
- Actually, I'm quite well traveled.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
- Well, I did live in Europe for 3 years.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
- I toyed with applying to the Naval Academy out of High School, but it didn't pan out. Also, I considered joining the Army out of college, but the recruiter talked me out of it. Yes, the Clinton years were that bad.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
- No, but I have held my best friend's head while he prayed to the porcelin goddess.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
- No, I said I never worked in fast food.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!"
- I'm Ravenwood, your worst nightmare... and I'm here to help.

UPDATE: Best quiz answer goes to McGehee: 11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk? I was told we might need people to stay at home and beat up anti-war types, and I thought that sounded like more fun.

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Blogger quiz

iconHere is my contribution to the latest meme circulating the web.

1. which political party do you typically agree with? I'm a Constitutional Libertarian.

2. which political party do you typically vote for? Republican

3. list the last five presidents that you voted for? Bush, Clinton, Clinton. (Fool me twice, shame on me. Also, I couldn't vote any earlier because I wasn't old enough.)

4. which party do you think is smarter about the economy? Libertarian

5. which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? Republican

6. do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? Keep them in there and relax the rules of engagement.

7. who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? Al Qaeda.

8. do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? We already have.

9. yes or no, should the u.s. legalize marijuana? Yes.

10. do you think the republicans stole the last presidental election? No, but they sure caught the Democrats trying to pull a fast one.

11. do you think bill clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with monica lewinski? Impeached for adultery, no. Impeached for lying under oath, yes. Oh wait, that is how it really happened.

12. do you think hillary clinton would make a good president? Other than fish food, I don't think Hitlery would make a good anything.

13. name a current democrat who would make a great president: Zell Miller

14. name a current republican who would make a great president: Rep. Ron Dr. No Paul

15. do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? To some extents, yes.

16. what religion are you? I'm an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church.

17. have you read the Bible all the way through? Yes.

18. what's your favorite book? Stonewall Jackson: The Man, the Soldier, the Legend.

19. who is your favorite band? Don't really have one.

20. who do you think you'll vote for president in the next election? Bush, unless he signs any anti-gun legislation.

21. what website did you see this on first? Kim du Toit

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Wax on, wax off

You are a MASTER of the English language!

While your English is not exactly perfect, you are still more grammatically correct than just about every American. Still, there is always room for improvement...

How grammatically sound are you?

(Nod to Courreges)

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Yay, I'm not dumb


How DUMB are you?.

Quiz via Mays.

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What country are you from?

This quiz has six questions, when one clearly would have done.


Which Country Are You From ??

(Quiz via Owen)

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What Dr. Seuss character are you?

This sounds about right, although I'd never wear such a goofy hat.

(Click for some quizeration)

(Link via The Accidental Jedi).

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What homer advice quote are you?

iconWouldn't you just love to know which Homer Advice Quote you are? This one didn't really come as a surpise considering my "What Simpson's character are you" result was you know who.

"Son, a woman is a lot like a...a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and, um...oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. But you can't stop at just one. You wanna drink another woman!"

You're the lusty, drunken, party type. Booze, and members of the opposite sex are pretty much all you think about. While your party attitude may land you some fun and all, it could also get you into some trouble. Not to mention the fact that you annoy the hell out of some people with your drunken desires.

(Hat tip to Gennie)

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Citizenship Test

iconYou recruit a blogsitter to sit for your blog while you are away. The internet gods get angry, and smite his internet connection. What do you do?

Easy, you visit Rob and steal one of his posts for some quick blogage. He's been on a quiz rampage lately, so this should be pretty quick. Lets see how I do on some of the questions from the Naturalization test.

I'm not sure if Rob wrote this test or not, because some of the questions repeat, and the numbering is all out of order.

1. According to the constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to become president. Name one requirement.
You have to be at least 35 years old.

2. Can the Constitution be changed?
Yes. The Constitution has an Amendment process, whereby the Legislative branch passes the changes, and the states ratify them.

3. Can you name the 13 original states?
Yes. (That was easy)

4.Can you name the two senators from your state?
Yes. (another easy one.)

5. For how long do we elect each senator?
Most senators serve 25 or 30 years. Some seem to serve for 40 or 50. Technically they are elected to only 6 year terms, but with the passage of the Incumbent Protection Act, whereby you cannot criticize a sitting senator 60 days before he comes up for re-election, it is pretty much a lifetime term.

6. For how long do we elect the president?
We don't. The President is elected by the members of the electoral college. He serves for four years. The electors are chosen by the states, via popular election, so technically we have a hand in the process. But we really don't.

7. For how long do we elect the Representatives in Congress?
Two years, but the Incumbent Protection Act still applies.

8. How many amendments to the Constitution have been made so far?
Twenty Seven.

9. How many branches are there in our government?

10. How many changes or Amendments to the Constitution are there?
See number 8.

11. How many members are there in the Supreme Court? What is the term of office for these judges?
Nine. They serve for life, or until they retire.

12. How many Presidential electors does each state have?
They have an elector for each House Representative, with a minimum of three.

13. How many representatives are there in Congress?

14. How many Senators are there in Congress?
One Hundred.

15. How many states are there in the union?
Who the hell cares? There were 13 Confederate States, and that is all you need to know. (Some people say 11, they are wrong).

16. How many states are there in the US?

17.How many stripes are there on the flag?

14. How many Supreme Court justices are there?
Nine. See question 11.

15. How many terms can a president serve?
Two full terms.

16. How many times may a congressman be reelected?
As many times as he can win.

16. How many times may a senator be reelected?

17. In what month do we vote for the president?

18. In what month is the new president inaugurated?

19. In what year was the Constitution written?
1788. (I think?)

20. Name one amendment that guarantees or addresses voting rights?
Fourteenth, Fifteenth, the dreaded Seventeenth, and the very dreaded Nineteenth.

I didn't look up to see if I got all the answers right, but I bet I'm closer than most. Who thinks I'll get hate mail for my answer to number 20?

UPDATE: In looking at Mrs. DuToit's list of questions, it's no wonder that Peter Jennings waited so long to become a citizen.

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Destined to be single

iconCharles Hill recently used this Soulmate Calculator to figure his odds of meeting that perfect soulmate. It told him that he had to meet 1238 women to find 'the one'.

Well I took the test, and I am WAY behind schedule. my probability coefficient is: 8.14158485456398 E-06. That means I need to meet 122,826 heterosexual females to find my perfect mate. That means I'd have to fill an average football stadium TWICE with single women, just to meet 'the one'. How encouraging.

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What Monty Python Character Are You?

I am the Black Knight.

Running away? You yellow . . .

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What political stereotype are you?

This came as no surprise.
Libertarian - You believe that the main use for government is for some people to lord it over others at their expense. You maintain that the government should be as small as possible, and that civil liberties, "victimless crimes", and gun ownership should be basic rights. You probably are OK with capitalism. Your historical role model is Thomas Jefferson.

(Quiz via Courreges)

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What number are you?

I've seen this quiz circling around.

I am the number
I am the loneliest number


what number are you?

I'm not sure what that means.

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Which OS are You?


This doesn't surprise me at all. I figured I'd be either this or OS/2.

(link via Quit That)

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What lunch meat are you?

Um. I really don't know what to make of this.

You are CHICKEN. The cowardly meat.

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How Jedi are you?

Of course I'm Han Solo. I'll take a babe, a blaster, and a fast ride any day over some close quarters combat light saber and a lifetime of never getting the girl. Sure moving shit around with my mind would be cool, but if you can't use it to make chicks skirts fly up at the mall, who needs it?

(link via Quit That)

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What U.S. city are you?

Yet another "What ___ are you?" quiz.

It turns out that I'm Atlanta. This really upsets me, because I just moved away from Atlanta in June. What the hell was I thinking!? I was homesick for Atlanta before, but now I found out that it was perfect for me! sigh.

(link via da Goddess)

My other cities were Chicago (cool, but WAY too liberal), Dallas (great, except I'm a 'Skins fan), and L.A. (BWAHAHAHA!!!)

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What Firearm are you?

Yet another "What ___ are you?" quiz.

Surprise, I am the famed Desert Eagle. One of the most powerful handguns in the world.

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What Founding Father are you?

Yet another "What ____ are you?" quiz that I could not resist. What Founding Father are you?

Surprise, surprise, I'm George Washington. This fits well, since I was the American Revolution in the "What Revolution Are You?" quiz.

(link via Todd)

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What Simpson's character are you?

I told myself I was going to stop doing these campy quizes, but my love of the simpsons is just too strong.


The actual quiz is "What lesser known Simpsons character are you?". As a Simpson fan, I don't see Barney as a lesser known character. In my book, lesser known characters would include:
Fat Tony
Grandma Jackie or Aunt Gladys
Pedro (the Bumblebee man)
Troy McClure
Professor Frink
Big surprise that I was Barney. A look at my 'Drunk Story of the Day' could have told you that.

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Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!

Yet another "What ______ are you?" quiz. This upsets me more than being the Swedish Chef of muppets. I thought for sure I'd be the albino.


(credit Blogatelle, who was just as excited I was about being Vizzini, for the link)

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What Muppet are you?

Yet another 'What _____ are you' quiz. This time, I am the Swedish Chef of muppets. This comes as a surprise, as with my love of chickens, I always had myself pegged for Gonzo.

Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff!

Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork!

Thanks to HokiePundit for the link.

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What revolution are you?

What revolution are You?

I took the test, and big surprise.. I'm the American Revolution.
Leeched from Jack at TPRS, who incidentally is the October Revolution.

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