Another small aircraft strayed too close to the Capitol this week, causing yet another panicked evacuation. While there's nothing quite as satisfying as seeing the political elite pushing old ladies out of the way while scrambling for their lives, these careless pilots are doing serious harm to general aviation. They are not completely to blame, since the no-fly zone around D.C. extends out 15 miles. That's well outside the capital beltway. But just like clockwork, the useful idiots of the left come out to bash general aviation and talk about what a danger small planes are to national security.

One of those was none other than John Loftus, a former Justice Department prosecutor. During the last scare, Loftus said that we should have shot the single engine Cessna out of the sky. This morning he was calling all the talk shows around D.C. telling them that the government should take a "war on drugs" approach and start seizing airplanes. He thinks that the threat of taking people's airplanes away will make them think twice before straying too close to Washington. (It's worked so well for the war on drugs.)

Loftus blamed the problem on know nothing hobbyists that were just out for a stroll. Never mind that this was a corporate owned twin engine turbo-prop. When the facts weren't lining up the way Loftus wanted them to, he started rambling on about "spoiled rich kids" and "millionaire playboys" out riding around in their toys. The class envy was enough to make my blood boil.

General Aviation, while expensive, is not reserved for the super-rich. A single engine prop aircraft can be gotten for much less than a nice bass boat or luxury SUV. And your pilots certificate is only $3000 to $5000 away. (My Microsoft certification cost that much.) Class envy is a powerful tool, and the antis know it. They want to ban general aviation and they cannot do it without perpetuating the image of selfish rich kids playing with daddy's toys.

Loftus actually called pilots selfish, and claimed that one of these small aircraft could easily be filled with enough chemical weapons to kill 80,000 people. Of course so could your station wagon, and nobody sends out fighter jets when you get within 15 miles of the Capitol in one of those. You could pack 100 times as much chemicals or explosives into a Ryder truck.

Then there is the usual whines: "These people don't file a flight plan" and "They take off from airports that don't even have control towers." Oy, it's all been said before, and it's all meant to confuse the uneducated.

And just why should a person in a 1000 pound single engine plane file a flight plan? Imagine if you had to ask for permission and provide routing information to a government agent every time you wanted take the minivan out to visit grandma. People just coming and going as they pleased, imagine that.

Supporters of the Live 8 Cash for Africa concerts are miffed that the acts are a little too lily white.

One of my favorite sayings is "Never put anything in an email that you wouldn't feel comfortable reading aloud in court." Here's someone who should have heeded that advice.

Assemblyman Willis Stephens [a New York State Republican] says he thought he was sending the e-mail to an aide. Instead, he sent the note to nearly 300 people on an online discussion group that focuses on the community of Brewster.

The message included the comment that he was "just watching the idiots pontificate."

Well, at least now his constituents know what he really thinks of them.

Reader Phelps sends this article about Taser abuse. It seems pretty comprehensive, but here's a short highlight:

But for a weapon whose makers crow about its "stopping power," Tasers occupy a strange place in the police rulebook. Law enforcement officers learn what is called a "use of force continuum" to determine what means or weapons they may use in different situations. The "continuum" begins with simple police presence, then moves up to issuing commands, then the use of open hands, and after that, pepper or other chemical sprays, closed hands (including elbows and knees and other takedown moves), the use of a hard baton, and finally, the use of lethal force.

You might think Tasers would fit somewhere near the "lethal force" end of that list, right before a gun. Instead, however, many police agencies place Tasers immediately after the "issuing commands" force level - which suggests to officers that using a Taser is less serious even than a push or pepper spray. Which also means that if an officer asks you to produce your driver's license and you ask "Why?" rather than immediately complying with the order, there's a chance, in some jurisdictions, that you could, within their rules, be hit with a Taser for refusing the command. That's in part how Tasers have begun to be used, not as serious, life-threatening weapons, but as a bully's tool of compliance, something to get people in line - with sometimes egregious consequences.

Ravenwood's Universe is up to #8 on John Hawkin's quarterly Favorite 40 Blogs For 2005. I'm slowly crawling my way toward the top.

The EPA is claiming that the chemical known as C-8, which is used to make teflon and many other consumer products causes cancer.

"We believe there is a reasonable basis for some of those questions and that they need to be answered," said Tom Skinner of the EPA.

While on paper it may appear to be the difference of one word, if C-8 is moved from a potential cancer risk to a likely risk, some have said it could be the end for the widely used substance.

Teflon is used to keep food off of non-stick cookware, the rain off of raincoats, and the stains out of carpets. C-8 is also a major concern when it comes to threatening health and the environment, [NBC5's Lisa Parker] reported.

"It's so ubiquitous," said Jane Houlihan of the Environmental Working Group. "It's in every home. We're talking about pizza boxes, butter boxes, microwave popcorn."

The Environmental Working Group appears to be a black marketing organization for the organic foods industry.

Earlier this month, Senator Dick Durban took to the Senate floor and compared our soldiers to Nazis, Pol Pot, and the communists who ran the Soviet gulag. Durban's comments were picked up by the terrorist propaganda outlet, Al-Jazeera, and echoed throughout the Arab World. This prompted CNN's Wolf Blitzer to ask how he felt that terrorists were echoing his remarks. Durban replied, by blaming the Vast Right Wing Conspirators in the media.

"I think there were a lot of my critics who tried to blow these remarks up as much as they could and to run them in some aspects of our press over and over and over again. I think they bear some responsibility too. That speech might never have been noticed but for that activity on that side of the media."

So, it's not Durban's fault for saying what he said, it's the fault of the right wing media (Rush, Fox News, and the bloggers) for telling people what he said.

Walter Williams gets it. When talking about property rights and the great government land grab of 2005, Williams noted that the Fifth Amendment was not the only Amendment that applies.

I think the socialist attack on judicial nominees who'd use framer-intent in their interpretation of the Constitution might also explain their attack on our Second Amendment "right of the people to keep and bear Arms." Why? Because when they come to take our property, they don't want to risk buckshot in their butts.

The Founding Fathers intended that the individual right to keep and bear arms not be infringed. If it weren't for heavily armed private citizens, we would not have defeated the British during the the American Revolution. And those citizens were usually packing superior firepower than either army.

"Secondhand smoke is killing people. That is an emergency." -- Washington D.C. City Council Member Kwame R. Brown (D-At Large). Fearful that the bill will be killed in committee, Brown wants the full city council to immediately vote on an emergency bill to ban smoking on private property.

President Bush spoke to the nation on prime time television last night to address criticism to the War on Terror. He still hasn't said two words about illegal aliens pouring into our country. But some people are taking notice. Terrorist mouthpiece Al-Jazeera, had planned on running a "news" piece on how to sneak across our borders.

"It is insane policy to allow Al-Jazeera to film Arizona's unsecured border with Mexico and then broadcast it to the very people who perpetrated 9/11," [U.S. Rep. Trent Franks, R-Ariz.] said. Hssaini, who described himself as a Moroccan-born citizen of Canada working legally in the United States, dismissed the suggestion that his motive for coming to Arizona concerned something other than journalism. . .

"They are a legitimate news organization," said Jacqueline Sharkey, head of the journalism department at the University of Arizona. "There has been criticism in some of the ways they have covered the war in Iraq - just as there's been criticism of the way some of the U.S. media have covered the war in Iraq."

I tend to agree with Sharkey. Oh, I don't think Al-Jazeera is anything other than a two-bit terrorist propaganda network. But banning them from filming our loose border security doesn't solve anything. What Franks really ought to be upset about is that our borders are so insecure that al-Jazeera would even want to film there.

Smoking sure hasn't slowed this guy down much.

The front page of the old Wisconsin News on July 14, 1933, is dominated by three large photos showing Hubert Albert smoking his little brains out.

It was newsworthy because he was 5 years old at the time. The accompanying article says the Milwaukee boy started puffing at the age of 20 months - cigarettes, cigars, pipes, you name it. "He's not 6 years old yet, but he knows how to smoke - anything," the headline says. . .

Hubert, or Hutch as he likes to be called, is still alive today, in his late 70s, and in good health.

He kicked the habit around age 10 but took it up again when he joined the Merchant Marines at age 16. He smoked on and off throughout his life and even now enjoys packing his pipe a few times a day.

I'm not saying that smoking doesn't increase your risk of getting cancer. But considering how many people live long and healthy lives while smoking like a chimney (anyone remember George Burns?) it's hardly a causal relationship.

The Sacramento Bee is trying to locate some of the people named in their articles. They aren't having much luck.

A newspaper investigation of a former columnist for The Sacramento Bee could not verify 43 sources she used in a sampling of 12 years of her work.

Diana Griego Erwin resigned May 11 as she came under scrutiny about the existence of people she quoted. She has denied making up information, but Executive Editor Rick Rodriguez said the Bee should have been able to locate the people named in the stories.

"It kills us that we can't," said Rodriguez, whose comments were included in a story about the investigation published in Sunday's Bee. "We still hope they will turn up, but we're presenting the facts as we found them. Obviously, we feel strongly that we should have been able to find these individuals."

Here's a shocker. Aside from the DVD factor and high ticket prices, audiences also listed the poor quality of movies as reasons they stay away from the theater.

Asked why they are reducing their habit, one in three said they "prefer to watch movies at home" (the DVD factor) but 1 in 4 said "it costs too much to go to the movies," and 1 in 5 alluded to the "poor quality" of movies today.

There are only so many warmed over 1970s TV shows and movie remakes a guy can take.

On a warmer note, I saw George Romero's Land of the Dead this weekend. I thought the movie was pretty good, and a departure from typical zombie flicks. Instead of concentrating on Z-day, Romero focused on how people had adapted their lives to the zombie threat. They had set up post-apocalyptic cities and outposts that were fortified against attack, and just about everybody was armed. (No wonder I liked it so much.)

What kind of message does this send to kids?

A baseball team of 11- and 12-year-olds have been kicked out of a league in this Columbus suburb for one reason - they're too good.

The Columbus Stars were removed from their league last month because they were humiliating opponents. In some of their last games, the Stars beat the Red Sox 18-0, World Harvest 13-0, Sugar Grove II 24-0 and Sugar Grove I 10-2.

Other teams began complaining - and canceling.

Michael Mirones, board chairman for the Canal Winchester Joint Recreation District, pulled the Stars from the league and returned their $150 entry fee. He suggested the Stars play against better teams.

This not only penalizes the successful kids for being too good, but it tells the losing teams that rather improve their game, they should just take their ball and go home.

They should take a lesson from Olympic basketball, a sport that the U.S. has dominated for decades. Rather than give up, competing teams came back stronger each year. They went from suffering humiliating blowouts, to humiliating the U.S. team with fundamentals and good outside shooting. Not once did you see Olympic teams refusing to play the U.S., or telling us to go play against better teams.

Here's what happens when you elect a dentist to public office.

Some grade school students will have to visit the dentist if they want to collect their end-of-year report cards, under an Illinois law that goes into effect Friday.

School officials already require students of certain ages to prove they've received vaccinations and general health screenings. But now students attending kindergarten, second and sixth grades would be required to undergo dental checkups.

Nobody doubts the benefit of good oral hygiene. But forcing people to go to the dentist sounds like cruel and unusual punishment.

"The Supreme Court vacated that section of Amendment Five today, in their ruling that the government has the power to seize anyone's property for any reason, as long as they can trump up some bullshit "public benefit" line of reasoning. I think David Souter's home should be first on the list to be seized." -- Ravenwood, June 23, 2005.

"Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter? A new ruling by the Supreme Court which was supported by Justice Souter himself itself might allow it. A private developer is seeking to use this very law to build a hotel on Souter's land." -- Freestar Media, June 27, 2005.

From Say Uncle:

I would never burn a flag unless it was illegal to do so.

Owen Courreges points out that the town of Freeport is not only rejoicing at the Supreme Court's repeal of property rights. They're already drawing up the papers to start seizing property.

...officials in the beachfront town of Freeport, south of Houston, said they would move aggressively to condemn property owned by two seafood companies to clear the way for an $8 million private marina.

I wonder how long it will be before we have another Waco-like standoff.

Today's trash laying in, on, or near the road was:

• Orange construction cone - It must be the one that got away.

Statistics
Commute: It's the pedal on the right!
Door to door: 28 minutes

As if you needed more evidence that the environmental movement has been hijacked by wackos.

A wild idea to combat global warming suggests creating an artificial ring of small particles or spacecrafts around Earth to shade the tropics and moderate climate extremes.

There would be side effects, proponents admit. An effective sunlight-scattering particle ring would illuminate our night sky as much as the full Moon, for example.

And the price tag would knock the socks off even a big-budget agency like NASA: $6 trillion to $200 trillion for the particle approach. Deploying tiny spacecraft would come at a relative bargain: a mere $500 billion tops.

Maybe we should just bomb the shit out of North Korea and Iran. A little nuclear winter should give the Global Warming idiots something else to whine about.

"I cannot swallow whole the view of Lincoln as the Great Emancipator. As a law professor and civil rights lawyer and as an African-American, I am fully aware of his limited views on race. Anyone who actually reads the Emancipation Proclamation knows it was more a military document than a clarion call for justice." -- Senator Barack Obama, D-IL.

Of course he's exactly right. The Emancipation Proclamation only called for the freedom of slaves in Southern states. And given that the South had seceded from the Union, the order didn't actually free anyone. In fact, by the time Lincoln got around to proclaiming emancipation, the U.S. Congress had already banned slavery in Southern states.

Scientists are too busy asking themselves if they could, when they ought to be asking themselves if they should.

SCIENTISTS have created eerie zombie dogs, reanimating the canines after several hours of clinical death in attempts to develop suspended animation for humans.

US scientists have succeeded in reviving the dogs after three hours of clinical death, paving the way for trials on humans within years.

Pittsburgh's Safar Centre for Resuscitation Research has developed a technique in which subject's veins are drained of blood and filled with an ice-cold salt solution.

The animals are considered scientifically dead, as they stop breathing and have no heartbeat or brain activity.

But three hours later, their blood is replaced and the zombie dogs are brought back to life with an electric shock.

If George Romero's visions are at all accurate, I'm happy to report that I have enough guns and ammo to handle any zombies that cross my threshold.

NBA Player Chris Wilcox was busted for illegal handgun possession. Police found a gun in his car during a traffic stop reports WBAL. He's facing misdemeanor gun possession and up to 3 years in jail.

According to charging documents, the officer asked Wilcox if he had been drinking. After briefly hesitating, the charging documents reveal Wilcox nervously answered, "Yes, I had one drink." Collins reported Wilcox passed a field sobriety check.

Police said a K-9 team responded to the scene and the dog reacted to something in the car.

"The officer asked Mr. Wilcox whether there was something we need to know about in the car, and he indicated that he had a gun, and a search located the gun," Howard County police spokeswoman Sherry Llewellyn said.

The news blurb on the radio this afternoon said that the police used a "gun-sniffing dog". Given the amount of guns and ammo that have been in an out of my car over the years, the dog would almost always hit on my car. But then I live work and play in Virginia, where open carry is legal and concealed carry is accepted.

You know it's pretty obvious when even the Washington Post points out media bias.

When Senate Democratic whip Dick Durbin used a Nazi analogy to describe incidents of prisoner abuse at Guantanamo Bay, it wasn't much of a story at first.

Even when White House spokesman Scott McClellan called Durbin's remarks "reprehensible," "NBC Nightly News" gave the matter three sentences and the other network newscasts ignored it. The NBC and ABC newscasts covered Durbin's tearful apology last week, but the "CBS Evening News" took a pass.

"I just don't think it's that big a deal," says CBS anchor Bob Schieffer. . .

There was no such media reticence when Karl Rove said Wednesday that liberals wanted to offer the attackers of Sept. 11 "therapy and understanding." With Democrats castigating the White House adviser, major newspapers (including The Post) and the NBC and ABC newscasts jumped on the story.

Howard Kurtz does try to say that the bias cuts both ways. He struggles to make the claim that the right wing hacks (Fox News and the bloggers) are ignoring Bush's obvious blunders and shortcomings. He even calls the media fabricated "Downing Street Memo" a "high level British memo", as if there were no doubting it's authenticity or content.

You know, if I were going on a road trip to Pittsburg, the last place I'd park my luxury SUV is in the RFK parking lot. But then I'm not a naive Canadian* who just moved to town.

Security will be tightened around RFK Stadium after 12 vehicles belonging to Washington Nationals players and employees were broken into and Marlon Byrd's SUV was stolen from a gated parking area while the team was on a road trip. . .

The break-ins occurred the afternoon of June 20, while the Nationals were in Pittsburgh. Credit cards, CDs, clothing and other personal items were stolen from the vehicles, police said.

Byrd's black Cadillac Escalade remains missing.

"I don't understand how that can happen," the outfielder said. "We're gone and my car drives off the lot? And no one notices? And when we get back and I'm standing there looking for the car, no one knows that it happened? That just doesn't make sense to me."

Welcome to D.C. guys. I'm sure this will improve when the team relocates to Anacostia.

* I know, the players aren't really Canadian.

CNS News reports that the same politicians who supported mandating background checks on gun buyers are balking at the idea of checking for illegal aliens.

Dozens of U.S. House members who sponsored the nationwide instant background check system for gun buyers in 1993 or backed the expansion of that system in 2002, have shown no support for a similar database intended to identify illegal aliens trying to find work in the U.S. [...]

"A database this large is likely to contain many errors," said Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) during a May 12 hearing on the Illegal Immigration Enforcement and Social Security Protection Act (H.R. 98). "Any one of [the errors] could render someone unemployable and possibly much worse until they can get their file straightened out."

But in 2002, Jackson Lee argued for the "Our Lady of Peace Act," (H.R. 4757), an expansion of the National Instant Check System (NICS) for handgun purchases.

"I strongly support this legislation," Jackson Lee said during the Oct. 15, 2002 consideration of the Our Lady of Peace Act. "A major problem with the instant check system has been the incomplete records of state and local governments."

If you find this hilarious, you know you're getting old.

Bigger, Stronger, Faster?

Fifty-four-year-old Jesse Sullivan "accidentally touched live wires while working as a utility lineman in Tennessee," reports Orlando's WKMG-TV. "He suffered severe burns, causing him to lose his arms."

We can rebuild him, doctors said; we have the technology:

Sullivan is the first to try out the most sophisticated artificial arms ever designed.

Surgeons attached his arm nerves to healthy muscles in his chest.

"So now when Jess thinks, close hand, the impulse is picked up by a transmitter, and goes to his hand," doctor Todd Kuiken said. "He thinks, closes hand and it does." . . .

By the time it's perfected, the cost of manufacturing the bionic arm is expected to be about $6 million, according to the report.

Boy, a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to. Back in the day, $6 million was enough to buy an entire bionic man.

Of course soon it may be cheaper to just let them die and turn them into zombies.

The SCOTUS is trying to put the file-sharing genie back into the box. They have basically ruled that there is no legitimate use for file sharing software. If you swap files, you must be breaking the law. This is a departure from the 1984 case that almost killed the VCR, where the SCOTUS ruled that since the VCR had substantial legitimate uses, manufacturers could not be sued for illegal misuse.

Internet file-sharing services will be held responsible if they intend for their customers to use software primarily to swap songs and movies illegally, the Supreme Court ruled Monday, rejecting warnings that the lawsuits will stunt growth of cool tech gadgets such as the next iPod.

The unanimous decision sends the case back to lower court, which had ruled in favor of file-sharing services Grokster Ltd. and StreamCast Networks Inc. on the grounds that the companies couldn't be sued. The justices said there was enough evidence of unlawful intent for the case to go to trial.

File-sharing services shouldn't get a free pass on bad behavior, justices said.

Change "file-sharing services" to "gun manufacturers" or and you'll see why this decision stings. When a thief uses a coat hanger to break into your car, you don't sue the guy that made the hanger. In an age where bolt cutters are considered "burglary tools", the test for whether or not a primary use is legitimate vs. illegitimate seems a little tenuous.

The same should hold true for file sharing. By this logic, other file sharing utilities could also be considered illegal - floppy drives, portable hard drives, online storage, instant messenger, and any other utilities that provide for the sharing of computer files.

The courts have ruled time and time again that the police have absolutely no responsibility for your safety. In case you have forgotten, the Supreme Court gave us a reminder yesterday.

The Supreme Court ruled Monday that police cannot be sued for how they enforce restraining orders, ending a lawsuit by a Colorado woman who claimed police did not do enough to prevent her estranged husband from killing her three young daughters.

Jessica Gonzales did not have a constitutional right to police enforcement of the court order against her husband, the court said in a 7-2 opinion.

City governments had feared that if the court ruled the other way, it would unleash a potentially devastating flood of cases that could bankrupt municipal governments.

Keep this in mind the next time some gun grabber tells you to just call 9-1-1 instead of trying to defend yourself.

School kids no longer learn the basics of math. All that can be done with a pocket calculator. Instead they are taught ethnomathematics, or social justice math.

In a comparison of a 1973 algebra textbook and a 1998 "contemporary mathematics" textbook, Williamson Evers and Paul Clopton found a dramatic change in topics. In the 1973 book, for example, the index for the letter "F" included factors, factoring, fallacies, finite decimal, finite set, formulas, fractions and functions. In the 1998 book, the index listed families (in poverty data), fast food nutrition data, fat in fast food, feasibility study, feeding tours, ferris wheel, fish, fishing, flags, flight, floor plan, flower beds, food, football, Ford Mustang, franchises and fund-raising carnival. . .

Partisans of social-justice mathematics advocate an explicitly political agenda in the classroom. A new textbook, "Rethinking Mathematics: Teaching Social Justice by the Numbers," shows how problem solving, ethnomathematics and political action can be merged. Among its topics are: "Sweatshop Accounting," with units on poverty, globalization and the unequal distribution of wealth. Another topic, drawn directly from ethnomathematics, is "Chicanos Have Math in Their Blood." Others include "The Transnational Capital Auction," "Multicultural Math," and "Home Buying While Brown or Black." Units of study include racial profiling, the war in Iraq, corporate control of the media and environmental racism. The theory behind the book is that "teaching math in a neutral manner is not possible." Teachers are supposed to vary the teaching of mathematics in relation to their students' race, sex, ethnicity and community.

Here is an update on last week's story about that 14-year old who was shot and killed while trying to commit an armed robbery. The press is excusing his actions and blaming the robbery victim, because the kid's rifle was unloaded.

The teenage boy fatally shot June 12 in Richmond's East End apparently was not as dangerous as he looked to the man who killed him.

Law enforcement sources involved in the case said Rodvon Daymetric Brown, 14, was carrying an unloaded, .22-caliber rifle when he got off his bicycle and approached a 47-year-old man sitting in his car at 24th Street and Fairmount Avenue around 11:40 p.m.

An ammunition magazine from an AK-47, also unloaded, had been duct-taped to the barrel of the rifle, giving it more of an appearance as a deadly assault weapon, the sources said.

The man inside the car, however, had a loaded, 40 mm semiautomatic handgun.

Gotta get me one of those 40mm handguns that the press keeps talking about. I bet it could down an airplane.

Richmond are consulting with prosecutors on whether to charge the man in connection with the shooting, which is still under investigation.

Police said the man who fired the fatal shots did not flee the scene, but called 911 and waited for police and medical attention to arrive.

Brown was a seventh-grader at Chandler Middle School who lived with his aunt and siblings in the 1400 block of North 23rd Street, just around the corner from where he was fatally wounded.

Family members had said the boy left the house that night to ride his bike because it had been so hot inside. A family spokeswoman had said Brown had never been arrested and was not known by his aunt to carry a weapon.

But last night, a law enforcement source said Brown did, in fact, have a record of arrests as a juvenile. The source did not provide details on the record.

The press hasn't yet said just how they expect the robbery victim to know the gun wasn't loaded. But they seem to reject the rules of basic firearms safety, which say that you should treat every gun as if it were loaded until you can prove otherwise.

Reader Mike A. asks:

You have had articles from time to time where people moved in next to a gun range, and then tried to force the range out. How long before those towns figure out that they can just take the gun ranges after this new supreme court ruling "for the good of the community"?

This is certainly a possibility. But doing so would require the cooperation of government officials. And those officials already have other ways of forcing gun ranges to close, such as imposing environmental regulations and noice ordinances. This is but another weapon in their anti-gun arsenal.

Then again, if the NRA (a/k/a the "gun lobby") is as effective as the gun grabbers would have us believe, wouldn't pro-gun legislators seize people's homes to build a gun range.

On another note, given the insanity of the property rights decision, it almost makes me wonder if we didn't luck out when the SCOTUS refused to hear any of the Second Amendment cases. They could have given us a 10 page essay on how the Constitution contained a typo and the Second Amendment really reads "shall be infringed".

I'm not a big fan of popularity contests, and didn't follow Discovery Channel's "Greatest American" vote. But I did catch the last 20 minutes of their live special where the winner was unveiled. It was worth it to see the big suck on Matt Lauer's face as President Ronald Reagan beat out Abraham Lincoln for the Greatest American Ever. Of course Lauer couldn't help but excuse the victory by pointing out that the voting was very close, and that Mr. Reagan had the benefit of having lived during voter's lifetimes.

To give you an idea of how meaningless the popularity poll was, Clinton was 7th, and W. finished 6th.

Here's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

An 86-year-old man with emphysema died minutes after Lakeland Electric cut off electricity to his son's home in the Polk County community of Kathleen.

John Howerton needed power to operate his oxygen machine. The utility cut off power over a disputed bill June 14. Richard Howerton had brought his terminally ill father home from a nursing home the day before.

When the power went off, the son scrambled to hook up a battery-operated machine. But it wasn't powerful enough to force oxygen into his father's lungs.

Richard Howerton's wife says she paid the electric bill on the Internet two days before her father-in-law died. A computer message said the payment would be posted in two days. It took four.

So, you're captured by terrorists in Iraq, held hostage for weeks, and then are lucky enough to be set free. What do you do next? You hire bounty hunters to track down and kill those dirty bastards, of course.

A hostage held alongside Australian Douglas Wood in Iraq has hired bounty hunters to track down his former captors, promising to eliminate them one by one.

Swede Ulf Hjertstrom, who was held for several weeks with Mr Wood in Baghdad, was released by his kidnappers on May 30.

Mr Hjertstrom has since claimed he shared information with US and Iraqi troops about Mr Wood which led to the release of the 63-year-old Australian engineers two weeks ago, after 47 days in captivity.

Now, he wants to find those responsible.

"I have now put some people to work to find these bastards," he told the Ten Network today.

"I invested about $50,000 so far and we will get them one by one."

(Hat tip to Spoons)

A gang of skinheads, neo-nazis, and Klansman exercised their First Amendment rights at Yorktown Battlefield in Virginia. CNN reports that about 125 of them showed up, and were met by counterprotests twice as large. And there probably would have been more counterprotesters, but it took place on Saturday leaving many Jewish groups unable to participate.

Then there were the pacifists.

About a mile away, a second counter demonstration was held. Organizers called it a "tolerance rally." Those participants said shouting at the Neo-Nazis only helps fuel the fire of Neo-Nazi hatred.

That's right, it's our fault that they hate us. Maybe we should ask ourselves why.

You may want to sit down for this one. The Washington Post reports that the government misunderestimated the cost of a public works project.

The engineering firms developing the plan to extend Metrorail through Tysons Corner told Virginia transportation leaders yesterday that the project as envisioned will probably cost $2.4 billion, a 60 percent increase over the previous estimate and a price that far outstrips the carefully negotiated financing agreement.

The extension is supposed to attract 15,100 new daily riders. That equals out to $158,940 per rider.

"A headline and article summary that appeared to indicate that Supreme Court Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist had either retired or died was inadvertently published on washingtonpost.com and through a washingtonpost.com RSS feed on June 23. The headline and summary have been retracted and no longer appear on the site." -- Washington Post Correction, June 23, 2005.

When the City Council lured the Montreal Expos to Washington D.C., they were concerned about having to fight property owners over land to build a new stadium. Yesterday's Supreme Court decision vacating private property rights is music to their ears. D.C. politicos are already saying the decision will give them a good negotiating position with stubborn residents who don't want to give up their land.

D.C. Council member Jack Evans (D-Ward 2) said that the ruling should give the city a powerful hand during negotiations with the 33 property owners at the ballpark site.

"It puts to rest the issue of whether the city has legal rights to take the properties," Evans said. "This strengthens our hand to get control of the property. Hopefully, it will encourage owners to settle with the District and accept a fair price and move on."

The District normally would have had to meet land-owners demands, or face a long expensive legal battle. Now that they already have the backing of the Supreme Court, they are free to low-ball residents. If the offer isn't good enough, tough luck. They can use police powers with relatively little due process. The courts will only decide how much the city has to cough up.

As for resisting the seizure D.C. is effectively "gun free", and Anacostia residents are sitting ducks.

If they are unable to pass a Constitutional Amendment banning flag burning, GOP lawmakers plan to use their powers of eminent domain to seize flags from private citizens to prevent them from being burned.

The proposed Constitutional Amendment would read, "The Congress shall have power to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States." But the Amendment process is lengthy and has a low probability for success. But yesterday's Supreme Court ruling, which found that private property could be seized as long as there was some sort of public benefit, gives lawmakers the power to act immediately.

Depending on their size and condition, the seized flags will be put to use flying over government buildings, and vehicles such as fire trucks. Flags that are no longer suitable for display will be disposed of in accordance with the U.S. Flag Code, §176(k) which states: "The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning."

The Carnival of Cordite is up over at the Revolutionary War Veterans Association.

As many as 36 states are fudging their numbers to comply with the No Child Left Behind Act.

Speaking of grades, Larry Elder points out that a week after John Kerry's grades were released, more people still think Kerry had higher grades than Bush. Apparently the media isn't getting the word out very effectively.

Everybody is upset over the governments seizure of private property, but you hardly heard a peep when officials seized a couple's children over a disagreement on cancer treatment.

Democrats are upset that the Corporation for Public Broadcasting has selected a Republican to be their new president. Senator Clinton and other Democrats sent them a nasty-gram.

It's that time of year again. Wild fires are raging through California and desperate homeowners are trying to protect their property. As homes burn and lives are destroyed, some residents recognize the value of the Second Amendment, and the definition of the word "militia".

On one street, residents formed a militia to prevent outsiders from invading their neighborhood.

Remember, the government has no responsibility for your safety.

"Someone is stealing city's parking meters" -- AP Headline, Kalamazoo, Mich., June 23, 2005.

"Motorists get tickets at meters installed after they parked" -- KWQC Headline, Chicago, Ill., June 23, 2005.

Like I've said before, simply carrying a large amount of cash is considered a crime. And the definition of large is relative. In this case, a woman was caught with cash in her bra. Is that suspicious? You betcha. Should it be a crime? No.

A woman who apparently stuffed $46,950 in cash in her bra before trying to board a plane to Texas for plastic surgery has sued a federal agency, demanding the return of her money.

The money was seized from Ileana Valdez, 26, after a security check at a metal detector at Logan International Airport on Feb. 3. Valdez told authorities she was heading to Texas for plastic surgery on her buttocks and breasts.

"I don't know why she was carrying it (the cash) in her bra," said Boston lawyer Tony V. Blaize, who filed the suit Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Boston on behalf of Valdez.

In her suit, Valdez said a male Drug Enforcement Administration agent told her she had a nice body and didn't need surgery - and then seized the cash, claiming it was drug money.

Actually, I think that stuffing it in your bra is perfectly reasonable. How else would you feel safe flying with nearly $50,000 in cash? I certainly wouldn't check it at the gate. Any number of people could open your suitcase and take it. Especially considering the TSA doesn't want you to lock your checked luggage any more. I also wouldn't put it in my carry-on and let some $10 an hour X-ray babysitter have access to it. The way they are pilfering lighters, charm bracelets, and even the Congressional Medal of Honor (and then selling them for profit), I certainly wouldn't trust them around any large amounts of cash.

So, why did she have the cash stuffed in her bra? Just maybe she was afraid that some over-zealous government agent would confiscate it and refuse to give it back.

Senator Dick Durban, D-IL, used the floor of the United States Senate as his stage to speak out against our troops. His comparison of our soldiers to nazis, Pol Pot, and Soviet gulags was entered into the official Senate record books. When asked to apologize, Durban stood by the remarks. Even fellow Democrats like Senator Harry Reid, D-NV, balked at the idea that the number two Democrat did anything wrong. Reid even blamed the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy for criticizing Durban:

The far right noise machine never stops. This is all a distraction by the White House...This is all an attempt to distract us from the issues before us. Let's focus on the issues not what he (Sen. Durbin) said.

But when Karl Rove - who doesn't even hold elected office - had the nerve to criticize Democrats for their soft reaction to the 9/11 attacks, Democrats went off the deep end. In a speech to the New York State Conservative Party, Rove said "liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers."

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid was outraged. The number two Democrat in the Senate calling our troops nazis is a non-issue. But we cannot stand to let a private citizen criticize one of our political parties. Reid immediately called for Rove's head on a platter.

"Karl Rove should immediately and fully apologize for his remarks or he should resign," Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid, D-Nevada, said in a statement. "I hope the president will join me in repudiating these remarks."

Is this really the image Democrats are going for? It is okay to call our soldiers Nazis but if you criticize the Democrat Party, you gotta go.

D.C. business owners are becoming disenchanted with Major League Baseball. To fund a new stadium for the Washington Nationals, the D.C. city council imposed a "baseball fee" on District businesses. Now that the bills have been mailed out, many of the businesses are balking.

Warren J. Cox, a principal in Hartman-Cox Architects, said he did not closely follow the stadium debate in the fall and was shocked last week when his accountant asked him to approve a $10,800 check to the District. He dashed off a letter to D.C. Council members saying he was paying under protest and was considering legal action.

"When I told my partners, they had apoplexy. That's a lot of money," Cox said in an interview.

The justification for using the threat of lethal force to seize money from businesses, was that Major League Baseball would bring a lot of revenue into the city. I guess that Nationals fans aren't lining up at Cox's door requesting his architecture services.

Adding insult to injury, D.C. is seizing more money than they really need.

Officials said yesterday that the city could end up with more money from the ballpark fee than is necessary because they may have under-estimated the number of companies that will be required to pay. Officials declined to say what they would do with extra funds.

I have a pretty good idea where the funds will go. (Into more vote buying schemes.)

The tax bills rekindled the debate in which some company owners complained last fall that the tax represents an unfair subsidy to Major League Baseball.

It's not a subsidy, it's legalized theft. Furthermore, Major League Baseball is a government protected monopoly, which means they have nothing to fear from Vince McMahon types starting up their own Xtreme Baseball League and competing with them.

As with most taxation, there is the usual clamoring to sock it to the evil, hated, rich. Keep in mind however, that this tax is on gross receipts not net profit. You pay based on how much total revenue to you take in.

Another point of contention is that the fee structure puts an unfair burden on smaller companies, said Barbara B. Lang, president of the Chamber of Commerce. All businesses that gross more than $16 million pay the same amount -- $16,500 -- no matter if they make one dollar more or $100 million more.

The city's largest companies should assume more of the burden, Lang said.

The keyword being burden.

Look, I have a pretty simple solution to all of this. If Major League Baseball insists on remaining a government protected monopoly and on demanding taxpayer funds to build new stadiums, they should lose their government protected copyrights. D.C. firms and small businesses should be free to print up Nationals T-shirts and other merchandise, and sell them out of their offices. They would pay no licensing fees and no royalties to the league. If they can have the shirts printed for $2 each and sell them for $20, that's $18 they get to keep. And it's all the more money they'll have available to pay D.C.'s Baseball Tax.

Congressional Democrats are demanding that private companies to provide health coverage, or else. Specifically being targeted is low-cost retailer, Wal-Mart. Long the ire of liberals and democrats, nearly 14% of Wal-Mart employees choose to not pay for group health insurance through the company. They either tag along on the policy of a spouse, or rely on taxpayer funded care.

Several congressional Democrats introduced a bill yesterday that would force states to report the names of companies that have 50 or more employees who receive government-funded health care, an effort to pressure Wal-Mart Stores Inc. in particular to improve employee health coverage.

In introducing the Health Care Accountability Act, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D-Mass.), Rep. Anthony D. Weiner (D-N.Y.), and Sen. Jon S. Corzine (D-N.J.) said they are concerned that large employers such as Wal-Mart are transferring responsibility for health care to government-funded programs such as Medicaid.

So they want companies held accountable for their employees health coverage (or lack thereof), in what amounts to a huge invasion of privacy and government meddling. And it's not the employers who are transferring responsibility to the government, it's the employees. They are electing to rely on government hand-outs, rather than paying their own way. Look I can either choose to drink from the taxpayer funded water fountain, or I can pay $2 for chilled bottled water from the Coke machine. But just because the government gives away water for "free", doesn't mean they can demand that Coca-Cola start giving away water because the lines at the water fountain are too long.

If the government doesn't want people signing up for their hand-outs (they actually advertise the unpopular programs), they should shut them down.

Wal-Mart said it provides health insurance to more than 568,000 of its employees. About 14 percent of its workers have no coverage. The rest rely on health care coverage from another source, such as a spouse or government program.

Some of the uninsured "may turn to state Medicaid programs which were designed to provide medical coverage at very low cost to relatively low-income residents, at better premiums and related costs than even Wal-Mart can negotiate," [Wal-Mart Spokesman Nate Hurst] said.

Once again, this is a failure of socialism. Giving away something for "free" always spikes the demand. We're seeing the same thing happen with "free" prescription drugs. When you insist on giving away "free" stuff, don't complain when people actually take it.

With private property rights being vacated by the Supreme Court today, the right to keep and bear arms looks pretty important right about now.

If you don't have a rifle already, I suggest you buy one. Molon labe, bitch.

"The moment the idea is admitted into society, that property is not as sacred as the laws of God, and that there is not a force of law and public justice to protect it, anarchy and tyranny commence." -- John Adams

"What country can preserve its liberties if its rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms." -- Thomas Jefferson

The Fifth Amendment used to read: "No person shall. . .be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation." The Supreme Court vacated that section of Amendment Five today, in their ruling that the government has the power to seize anyone's property for any reason, as long as they can trump up some bullshit "public benefit" line of reasoning. I think David Souter's home should be first on the list to be seized. The Washington Post reports on this travesty of human rights:

The Supreme Court today effectively expanded the right of local governments to seize private property under eminent domain, ruling that people's homes and businesses -- even those not considered blighted -- can be taken against their will for private development if the seizure serves a broadly defined "public use."

In a 5-4 decision, the court upheld the ability of New London, Conn., to seize people's homes to make way for an office, residential and retail complex supporting a new $300 million research facility of the Pfizer pharmaceutical company. The city had argued that the project served a public use within the meaning of the Takings Clause of the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution because it would increase tax revenues, create jobs and improve the local economy.

Speaking for the majority, Justice Stevens writes:

The City has carefully formulated an economic development plan that it believes will provide appreciable benefits to the community, including--but by no means limited to--new jobs and increased tax revenue. As with other exercises in urban planning and development,12 the City is endeavoring to coordinate a variety of commercial, residential, and recreational uses of land, with the hope that they will form a whole greater than the sum of its parts.

Writing for the dissent, Justice Sandra Day O'Conner notes that the government now has unlimited power.

Today the Court abandons this long-held, basic limitation on government power. Under the banner of economic development, all private property is now vulnerable to being taken and transferred to another private owner, so long as it might be upgraded--i.e., given to an owner who will use it in a way that the legislature deems more beneficial to the public--in the process.

...if predicted (or even guaranteed) positive side-effects are enough to render transfer from one private party to another constitutional, then the words "for public use" do not realistically exclude any takings, and thus do not exert any constraint on the eminent domain power.

In short, no one is safe.

Remember that nullification of property rights is one of the pillars of communism.

Karl Marx would be proud

"[The Proletariat's] mission is to destroy all previous securities for, and insurances of, individual property...

The distinguishing feature of communism is not the abolition of property generally, but the abolition of bourgeois property. But modern bourgeois private property is the final and most complete expression of the system of producing and appropriating products that is based on class antagonisms, on the exploitation of the many by the few.

In this sense, the theory of the Communists may be summed up in the single sentence: Abolition of private property." -- Karl Marx and Frederick Engels, The Communist Manifesto

Democrats are still recounting votes in Ohio, in an attempt to show that Bush didn't really win the 2004 election.

More than a quarter of voters, and more than half of black voters, experienced problems at Ohio polling places during the 2004 presidential vote, a Democratic Party report said on Wednesday.

But the problems were not enough to have changed the outcome in the state that put President Bush over the top in his battle for the White House with Democratic Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts, it concluded.

The report cited long lines that discouraged voting, poorly trained election officials and difficulties with registration status, polling locations and absentee ballots.

Bush won Ohio by more than 118,599 votes. The margin of victory was higher than several other states like Minnesota (98,319), and Wisconsin (11,384). It was even somewhat close to the margin of victory in Pennsylvania (144,248). But Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania were all won by John Kerry, so those don't get recounted or disputed in any way. (Despite the fact that nearly 5,000 illegal votes were cast in Milwaukee.) Overturn any one of those states for Bush, and Ohio's 20 electoral votes don't even matter.

* All poll tallies via CNN

The good news is that Ravenwood's Universe has been listed on the blogroll over at Gun Places. The bad news is, they think I'm a chick.

I can assure you that I am all man, and there are hundreds of women that will attest to that fact. Okay, well, more like dozens. Okay, a few. Maybe, if you promise not to tell anyone. And no, I can't put you in touch with them without violating the restraining order.

Say Uncle has started an ecosystem of Gun Bloggers.

First Bush was blamed for a death in Chicago. Then he was blamed for a suicide in California. Now a man in Tucson has died, and it's all Bush's fault.

Alas the stolen election of 2000 and living with right-winged Americans finally brought him to his early demise. Stress from living in this unjust country brought about several heart attacks rendering him disabled.

Hat tip to Right Wing News.

The House of Representatives approved a Constitutional Amendment to ban flag burning, something they have been pushing for more than a decade. The Associated Press reports that with Republican majorities in both houses of Congress, the Amendment might actually pass.

The proposed one-line amendment to the Constitution reads, "The Congress shall have power to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States." For the language to be added to the Constitution, it must be approved by two-thirds of those present in each chamber, then ratified within seven years by at least 38 state legislatures.

The amendment is designed to overturn a 5-4 Supreme Court ruling in 1989 that flag burning is a protected free-speech right. That ruling threw out a 1968 federal statute as well as flag-protection laws in 48 states. The law was a response to anti-Vietnam War protesters setting fire to American flags at demonstrations.

No, no, no, no! Chipping away at the First Amendment is an idiotic idea. Flag burning, while detestable, should be protected free speech. Anyone who supports a ban cannot possible support the First Amendment.

As a patriot, I hate flag burning as much as the next guy. It's not surprise that it's unpopular. But unpopular speech is the exact kind of speech that the First Amendment is meant to protect. And as long as a person is burning their own flag and not causing a fire hazard to anyone else, the practice should remain legal. Throwing someone in jail for buring a red white and blue piece of fabric is tyranny, whether you make it legal or not.

And desecration is highly subjective. Proper flag disposal calls for burning, burial, or destruction of the flag thread by thread. Would the local VFW be subject to arrest for putting a haggard flag to rest?

This is a very slippery slope? What's next, bibles? Korans?

UPDATE: Neal says that a better Amendment would say that "neither the federal government, nor any state or local government can make any action a crime unless that action serves or conspires to deny to some individual their right to life, liberty or property through force or fraud."

John Stossel tackles the so-called "wage gap" between men and women. On average, women earn only 75 cents for every dollar than men earn.

Martha Burk, chair of the National Council of Women's Organizations, gave me this simple answer: "Because [men] like to hire men, John. They like to hire people like themselves and they darn sure like to promote people like themselves." In other words, men so love their fellow men that they are willing to pay a premium of, say, $10,000 on what would otherwise be a $30,000-a-year job, just for the sheer pleasure of employing a man. Nonsense. It's market competition that sets wages.

Men do care about money -- and that, not wage discrimination, is why men tend to make more of it.

"Women themselves say they're far more likely to care about flexibility," says author Warren Farrell. "Men say, I'm far more likely to care about money."

Martha Burk, in case you don't remember, made her mark on the women's movement by insisting that Augusta National Golf Club allow women to join. Just like she was wrong on that issue, she's wrong on this one. Men are far more likely to work longer hours, give up family comittments, and work in dangerous jobs. Women on the other hand are more likely to put family ahead of their career. They are also much less likely to give up their career to have babies.

Now, that men care more about earning money isn't really news. But what Stossel doesn't mention is that women should also share the blame for men's money grubbing attitudes. Aside from the obvious nesters vs. gatherers differences, men are predisposed to try to make more money simply to attract and please women. Women generally don't go for men who are broke all the time, and guys with lots of cash are much more likely to get the girl. (I'm speaking in generalities, so please girls don't yell at me saying you're not like that.)

In the immortal words of George Costanza, "bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents, don't approach strange women".

Hey, most of us only have the 'After'.

Kids not only don't have to dress for P.E. anymore, they don't even have to go. Instead they can take Phys Ed while sitting in front of their computer screen.

Jan Braaten, the district's lead teacher for physical education and health, said her staff was leery of the idea at first. "It's kind of an oxymoron to have online PE," she said.

But Braaten and others who developed the class are proud of their creation and say it's drawing interest from around the state and beyond. Online phys ed is being offered this summer as well.

Online learning offers a way for busy students to shoehorn the state-required academic courses and the electives they want into their schedules.

Kim du Toit thinks that if people don't want their kids going to school next to a gun range, they shouldn't build their new homes and school next to a gun range.

A new elementary school is being built just down the road from the shooting range, and down the road a little more are dozens of new subdivisions. Some of the new neighbors are not happy about the location of the range.

The range has been there for years. They ought to be unhappy about the location of their new homes and the new school. Who the hell moves into a house and then starts bitching about the location?

"It will make me nervous when they are playing on the playground," said parent Dorian Nicolosi. "It does not sit well with me."

Nicolosi and two daughters live just down the road. Both girls will attend the new elementary school when it opens in the fall.

Some neighbors, like Dorian Nicolosi, are not happy about the range's proximity to a new elementary school.

"I don't think it should be anywhere near a school," she said. "It shouldn't be within five miles of school."

That'd be like me moving next door to Dorian Nicolosi and then asking him to move because I don't like living next to him.

"Oil may hit $100. Or not" -- CNN/Money Headline, June 22, 2005.

"Tom Cruise to sue water squirters?" -- The Bosh Headline, June 21, 2005.

He was squirted in the face with water, so I'm not sure what damages he thinks he's due. Maybe $200 for the shirt, assuming he doesn't shop at JC Penney.

UPDATE: Like I said, Tom Cruise doesn't really have a case. Yeah, squirting someone with water is "assault", but there are no real damages that they can claim. Cruise's lawyers must have told him that well was dry, because he's dropping his plans to sue.

"Beef People To Close Stores, Cut Jobs" -- Headline, Web Pro News, June 21, 2005.

The article talks about Winn-Dixie grocery stores doing some consolodating. Not sure why they refer to Winn-Dixie as "Beef People".

From the Everything Causes Cancer Department, the pleasure police are now warning us about grilled food.

High-heat cooking methods such as grilling and broiling cause meat, poultry, and fish to form potentially carcinogenic chemicals, especially if charring occurs. In addition, when fat drips on hot coals (or any heat source), other possible carcinogens are formed and are deposited on the meat by the rising smoke and flames.

I think it's much easier if you simply accept that fact everybody dies eventually. Once you get that out of the way, you can go about living by the General's motto:

Live the good life. Drink, smoke, gamble, feast, joke, fornicate and be tolerant of those who do. Take risks and thrive for the good challenge. Work hard and play hard without going over the edge. Live in the moment. Believe in moderation in all things, including moderation. Live it up!

I'd rather die fat and happy than live in prolonged misery.

She's fighting a losing battle, but Carol Schwartz is giving the D.C. City Council hell. To combat the District's proposed smoking ban, she's proposed an alcohol ban, based primarily on the exact same arguments. Schwartz probably has a stronger argument, considering nobody has ever been killed by someone driving under the influence of too many cigarettes.

With a wink and a smirk, D.C. Council member Carol Schwartz (R-At Large) introduced legislation today to ban all alcohol in the District.

Schwartz, the leading opponent of a proposed smoking ban in District bars and restaurants, applied the same arguments made by anti-smoking activists to defend an alcohol ban.

Imitation may be considered flattery, but Schwartz's tongue-in-cheek comments showed it can also be used as an effective political skewer.

"People are still free to drink at home -- for now," she said as she introduced her bill, the Worker Occupational Safety and Health Amendment Act of 2005, Part II, at today's council session. "I'm just legislating that liquor cannot be served in bars, restaurants and nightclubs because I don't want it to be served. I will allow teas, sodas and milk -- for now. And if the drinkers insist on drinking alcohol -- and they will -- they can just step outside on sidewalks with their flasks and drink." [...]

"We all know that bartenders and waitstaff are constantly harassed by drinking customers. Bouncers are even beaten up by drunks. I care about these workers and their safety," Schwartz said, while her colleagues chuckled and hid their face in their hands.

"Yes, I come to you a changed woman," Schwartz said, her voice oozing sarcasm. "It had just never occurred to me that I could simply choose to ban a legal choice for consenting adults in a private place where the public does not have to go and where workers do not have to work."

"I'm also now looking at some other legal choices to ban -- like driving or sex -- for they, too, can be dangerous to your health and the health of others."

After the council session ended a few hours later, Schwartz withdrew the bill, declaring, "I had a point to make and I made it."

Maybe she should be careful what she wishes for. After all, the Onion had no idea people would actually sue junk food companies for making them fat.

Guilty gas guzzlers are now able to buy pollution credits.

For $160 you can turn a Hummer H2 into a zero-emissions vehicle. No tools or mechanical ability are required.

That's the promise of a California company called TerraPass. It would cost less, of course, to turn a Chevrolet Cobalt into zero-emissions vehicle. That would only be about $40.

The idea is the latest implementation in the trading of "pollution credits." Those are the market-based innovations, introduced a few years ago, which allow smoke-spewing companies to buy and sell the right to emit certain amounts of pollutants into the air.

The stickers TerraPass sends its customers do nothing to stop pollutants from coming out of a car's tailpipe. Instead, the company offers its customers the chance to reduce pollutants from other sources, like powe