Losers like you need not apply


High quality woman seeking high quality man. I think I see why she's having trouble finding one, and it's not because she's a self-rightous bitch. Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey offers a "dating tip", which pretty much centers around men meeting her stringent requirements.

I am a very high-quality woman. I know that sounds arrogant, but let's consider the facts:
  • I'm slim (whereas 62% of American women age 20 to 74 are overweight)
  • I'm attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not -- and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population)
  • I'm relatively young (whereas 82% of American adult women are over 30 years old)
  • I'm intelligent (IQ tested at 145 when I was a child, which is 3 standard deviations above the mean -- higher than 99.85% of the population. Even if I've gotten dumber as I've aged I'm probably still at least a 130, which is higher than 97.5% of the population.)
  • I'm educated (whereas 77% of American women do not have bachelor's degrees)
  • I have my financial shit together (no debt, perfect credit history, 6+ months living expenses saved, adequate insurance, self employed)
  • I have a strong libido and love having sex (my lover *never* has to beg, unless it's for me to let him get some sleep!)
  • Most of my interests tend to be more popular with men than women: science fiction, libertarianism, blogging, politics, economics, guns, gambling, etc.
This boils down to the basic difference between men and women. Men generally see themselves as perfect no matter what their shortcomings may be. Women tend to be more self-loathing and focus on their negative attributes (or in this case self-professed lack thereof). Women also tend to want to improve a man, whereas men want their women to stay just as they are.

Personally, I take issue at several items on her list. Normally I wouldn't call them out, but where's the fun in keeping to myself?

1. She's slim and appears to be somewhat tall. I can only speak for me, but I don't like slim women. Real women should have curves, not shaped like an ironing board. And what about breastses. I prefer a natural D-cup or larger whereas 92.3457% of women are small-breasted.

2. Yeah, her hot or not photo is somewhat attractive but I've dated a lot hotter women. And let's face it, looks aren't everything. Comeliness fades over time, but a woman who can cook. . .now that's timeless.

3. There is nothing wrong with women over 30. In fact older women (and those who act older than they are) are much more attractive.

4. IQ isn't so much a measure of intelligence as it is potential. Besides men don't really care much about IQs and they never want a woman who's smarter than them. Take my advice ladies, going around quoting your IQ is a big turn-off.

5. Ditto for edumacation. If your smart, a guy will see that. No need to point it out, especially if you graduated from some tiny teachers college with a third-rate football team.

6. Every guy likes a women who's good with money, but lets not overdo it. Guys don't like to feel like a kept man. Call me old-fashioned, but a man should take care of his lady not the other way 'round.

7. What is the deal with women who like sex thinking they can compare to men who like sex? Unless you're a retired porn actor or admitting to being a blow-job under the desk kinda woman, it's never enough.

8. Sharing common interests is over-rated. Guys don't really like their women to be "just one of the guys". That's what "guy friends" are for. And once again, I'll put myself out on a limb and say what all the other guys are thinking but are too afraid to say. If you really wanna attract a man, your hobbies should include cooking and cleaning.

For more light reading on how to please your man...


Category:  Lampoonery
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Comments

Ravenwood,

Couldn't agree with you more on EVERY point you made! Well said, my friend!

Steve

Posted by: Steve at August 14, 2006 10:43 PM

Speak it brother. Show me a women with a nice can and nicer curves and I will show you a happy man.

Posted by: Isiah of the most noble and ancient buffalo at August 14, 2006 11:49 PM

I like this photo of Jacqueline better. (Taken by Wayne Van~)

http://home.comcast.net/~waynemv/JacqsBlogParty/HPIM1037rc.jpg

Posted by: Maurice W. at August 15, 2006 5:58 AM

Wow. That chick has got some serious, serious self-esteem issues.

Posted by: roger at August 15, 2006 2:49 PM

"Women also tend to want to improve a man, whereas men want their women to stay just as they are."

This reminded me of an old saying:

"Women marry thinking their husbands will change.

"Men marry thinking their wives will never change.

"They're both wrong."

Posted by: Kim Scarborough at August 15, 2006 10:23 PM

Yep ... she IS smart, well educated (by contemporary milestone standards), and probably financially comfortable ......

But like the writer, I like a woman with female curves not my tomboy cute accountant sister ... but too each their own.

I wish her well in her hunt for the "quality" man she so definitely deserves. People wih "perfect" lives usually have very different lives once you scratch the thin veneer of the obvious.

Posted by: ron at August 16, 2006 12:30 PM

I agree! Very well said!

Posted by: jodi at August 16, 2006 3:12 PM

According to Maurice's pic, her fine hair is dull and flat and tends towards greasy, and that cut...it's not a cut it's just ordinary - a little dye could give her some highlights and add depth, something to get rid of the mousy stuff.

Posted by: DirtCrashr at August 18, 2006 7:55 PM

Maurice W - you serious? She looks like a bloke in that picture.

Posted by: llama at August 20, 2006 1:13 PM

I disagree with No. 4 only so far as intelligence is actually a good thing, so long as the woman does not use the guy's good nature to mop the floor with her "superior intellect".

Posted by: Windy Wilson at August 21, 2006 6:53 PM

This woman has ISSUES!
Seriously, though, have you ever met an American woman who did not think she was superior to every man she met? If she wants a marriage of equals, laugh and ask her what that means. Way back when Prince Charles married Lady Diana, there wasn't a woman in America who thought she wasn't a catch for ol' Charlie and that it should be her in that wedding instead of Diana.

Posted by: Windy Wilson at August 21, 2006 6:57 PM

I can't believe she can't find a man, what with her boyish good looks...

Agreed on all points, though I wouldn't mind a woman with money if she wasn't a bitch about it (but any time we fought, she'd be a bitch, so this is irrelevant), and I do like some similar interests.

As for the "I like sex!" comment: Lady, here's what I picture when I hear that:

"Something like... 36."
"36? Wait, what's something like 36? Does that include me?!"
"...37."

That's a lot of dicks.

Posted by: Adam Lawson at August 21, 2006 10:28 PM

Oh, and another thing.

If it were a man who spouted off something like this, she'd be all over him like a pack of dogs.
Such egomania is only allowed to one sex nowadays.

Posted by: Windy Wilson at August 25, 2006 2:32 PM
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