Say Uncle and Brutal Hugs point out that the annual Texas-Oklahoma game has been renamed from the Red River Shootout to the Red River Rivalry. Apparently 'shootout' was just too violent.

Then there's this, from George Carlin:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.